The truth about Miss Mary Sunshine

This used to be my nickname.  I’m not sure what happened.  I’ve become jaded.  Not completely because in comparison to some people, I’m pretty positive.  But sometimes life is cruel and hard and the people who DON’T deserve good things get them while others who have faith and live life positively, get crapped on.  Maybe I used to be oblivious because life has always been hard.  I mean, you know, we get presented with lots of difficult situations and decisions.  But back then, I was the one who put a positive spin on things.  “Everything will work out”, “This to shall pass”, “Look at what you’ve learned and how much stronger you are now.”  Blah Blah Blah.

How do I get back there?  I’ve consciously tried, BUT find myself back to complaining and worrying and freaking out because life isn’t fair and blaming others for my disposition.  UGH!  It’s so frustrating, like trying to diet, but then turning into a fast food restaurant for lunch yet again for a quick and extremely fattening meal.

How do I commit to a more positive, sunshiny outlook when things are so.freaking.hard?  Yeah, I know, give it to God.  Ok, yup, on it 😀  What does that actually mean?  Is that really the solution to regaining my Miss Mary Sunshine status?  I don’t think so.  Not completely.  It seems so cliche and like I’m supposed to know what that means.  “Here you go God, take it!”  Nope…still feel bad, so what now?  I’m not saying it’s a bad idea to seek answers from God’s word when in the midst of life’s difficulties, but for real, what does “Give it to God” mean?!?!  Can I just hand this crap over, tuck myself in bed and sleep until He deals with my troubles for me?  I wish.

Here’s what I really believe.  Turning problems, worries, illnesses, etc. over to God is essentially trusting Him, knowing Him, learning about Him, so that He can carry the burdens that we insist on trying to carry ourselves sometimes.  Will there be immediate relief?  Will all problems be solved?   Will everything turn out the way we want it to? No, no and no…probably not.

BUT focusing energy on God by 1) praying for direction EVERY DAY; 2) seeking understanding through devotion (aka READ the BIBLE); 3) recognizing and rejoicing in the good things even when things are mostly not good and 4) having faith!  I don’t understand it but I believe it. I can do this (with God’s help)! 

Sincerely,

Miss Soon-to-be-again Mary Sunshine ☀️